James
Personality James is a carefree individual and a slight lazy streak. He prefers to have perform shenanigans instead of plot development and would rather spend his time causing funny situations then going to fight bad guys. Nonetheless James will act seriously when he needs to, such as when Jane died and he mourned for her, or when he deserted The Nameless Party to attempt to save the world after letting the villain to get his hands on Murray. James has an unexplained fondness to walruses, an example is when he spent 2 hours building a walrus statue. Story Childhood James Woodrock was born in the elf city called Relsh in 1442http://what-do-you-do.net/2010/06/it-all-makes-sense-now/ . James' mother was a terrible cook and forced James to eat her horribly cooked stew everyday. On May 16th, 1514 James made a discovery. That day was a normal day as James fled to his room to try to escape the torture. Unfortunately for James, his mother had banned windows in his bedroom, thus stopping his escape attempt. There we learned that during his childhood, James had an obsession with Walruses (an obsession that continues today due to suggestions). James was so obsessed he even turned his door into a walrus! After momentarily giving up hope on escaping the stew James discovered a trapdoor covered by a rug. The trapdoor led to a underground tunnel which was filled with non-hidden traps. When young James walked to the end of the tunnel he found a crystal ball which let him see the future. James promptly destroyed the orb by pouring acid into the orb. After that, he found a huge skull with one eye and named him George. Following George to the dark family secrets section of the room. James read the boring paperwork which revealed James' father's (Neil Woodrock) views of James while he was growing up and that his father created a potion to totally change James' intelligence. James' father kept the potion in a barrier for safety. James then tried to take the potion which froze his hand. After knocking the potion out of the barrier (and getting his hand trapped in the barrier), James used his level one wand to get the potion. But before he could drink the potion, James' mother fed him stew, thus stopping him. Chapter One Early Adventures Sometime later he was accepted into the Relsh magic institute and finished his studies at the age of 132 after 10 years of schoolinghttp://what-do-you-do.net/2009/07/its-a-matter-of-class/ . The very same year he set out to become an adventurer. After setting out to Relsh Palace he first talked to the secretary there. He first commented on her bewbs and then accepted a quest to map 1/3 of Bandelin . James was teleported to the Treetop Plains. There James met a fairy which he promptly murdered in cold blood by suffocating it in his inventory. James then headed south when he stepped into a suspicious tent and fell down a hole which the tent concealed. James, in a rare stroke of genius, casted Liquify on himself to absorb the fall. There he heard some ominous chanting and followed it to find Crab People of the Crab Caves, which he promptly performed genocide on them. James then proceeded to escape by punching his way out of the ground. After doing so, James then entered Central Bandelin. After a minor stop to the Weapon shop, James liquified the sign so he could take a shower. This attracted a small crowd and many people assumed James had a mental illness. As James danced away he found Michael Jackson's grave. Ambassador Adventures He then knocked on the door to the Central Bandelin Lobby. James soon fooled the troll guard Rowen into letting him into a meeting of The Great Union. There he first met Jane, Ray, Ychet and Krinn. After asking Ray to play a song for them (and immediately regretting it), he then incinerated the guitar, denying he did any such thing, and inventoried the ash. James noticed Ychet's mustache falling off and immediately acted on his impulses and inventoried the moustache. Due to Ychet (and possibly James) being an impostor, the union was teleported to a random location. Namely Dust Valleyhttp://what-do-you-do.net/maps/ .There we learned that Ychet was really Techy. After landing there James crafted a vial of magic purple powder by crushing the Fairy Body into liquid and mixing with the guitar ash. He then labeled it HP Potion. From then on he joined the ambassadors and was a member of The Nameless Party. A minute after forming the party (and a lesson on classes) they encountered a Necrew Orc Village. Everyone else in the party wished to sleep and camp for the night, but James (being an elf) was physically unable to sleep and asked for more information from Jane. Jane then duplicated her rulebook to keep him occupied. James spent the rest of the night researching multi-classing and sub-classing. In the morning The Nameless Party was greeted by the Orcs from the nearby village. James quickly liquified one, and enraged the other 20. An epic battle broke out between the ambassadors and the orcs, and James decided to turn invisible and sneak away. The invisibility was useless with his clothes still on so James ditched them. James stole a useless level 10 staff from an orc tent. The invisibility spell started to wear off when some sort of insane pirate appeared from a portal. The crazy guy then commanded Jams to put his clothes back on. James started arguing with him before he disappeared, leaving James naked. Jane used Censorize on James and then James attempted to explain why he was naked (it failed big time) and that caused Jane to be incredibly angry with him. Thy Dungeonman (Adventures) After walking for several hours the group discovered the entrance to a Dungeon. When Ray failed a spot check and got caught by a trap, James had the idea to leave him there. In the next room James casted light, and discovered a fork in the road. James decided to split up with Techy and have a manly talk. After doing some jumping jack shenanigans James and Techy found a HUGE 'mound of gold. They then swam in the money and put all the gold into a bag. The gold was too heavy to lift so James levitated it and skipped giddily towards the exit only to be stopped by the dungeon boss- a giant rock-orc. James initially assumed it to be just a shadow illusion and continued skipping. Sadly, it wasn't. After wetting his robes, James was grabbed by the rock-orc, and slammed into some sticky slime on the ceiling. There he is reunited with the female party members. After an unsuccessful rescue attempt by Techy, James took a chance and used the "HP Potion as dispel magic potion on the slime. Unfortunately he was interrupted during this complicated and precise ritual by Ray's Godawful bagpipe music. Ray proceeds to defeat the boss by using his only weakness-European music. To free him and most of his party, James had another stroke of brilliance and burned Techy's hat. The smoke from the fire was absorbed by the sticky ceiling's respiratory hole and (due to the slime's coughing fit) they were expelled from the slime. James fell to the ground and was extremely hurt, while Jane (being such a killjoy) levitated everyone else except for him. The Nameless Party then exited the Dungeon and James leveled up for the first time. To save everyone in the party from incredible pain in the future, James petrified Ray's bagpipes. To thank him Jane healed James. The Greasy Goose Adventures The party then stopped at The Greasy Goose. James looked for new party members there, but the interviews were disappointing to say the least. The next thing James did was to look for subclass trainers. There were only 2 trainers though. David, a Sorcerer trainer, and a Wizard trainer. James shook his head in disapproval at the choices; I mean, come on! James then grabbed a nearby map and used it to accelerate his mapping quest progress. Everyone else except James and Jane had a few too many drinks. James proceeded to break the ice by commenting on Jane's name. This eventually initiated a flashback trap and we learned about her past and how she died, but that's for Jane's page. Mid-way through the flashback James asked an incredibly stupid question which we shall not say out of respect. After the flashback James used amazing foresight and preemptively stole Ray's triangle. James examined Techy's belongings and found among ''other things, a glowing 3-eyed skull. He then experimented with the skull and cast Vegitate on it. Then, as if by magic (and the power of IMAGINATION) Murray came alive. Murray asked for a password which James tried to guess. None of James' guesses were accepted so James decided to get the password later. After a night of research (and goatee shaving), James went downstairs to find a mob of zombies attacking the Tavern. James immediately sprung into action and incinerated some zombies and then went to look for Techy. When he found Techy we learned the most shocking twist, ever! TECHY. WAS. TYING. HIS. SHOELACE! James then found Krinn and she was on the toilet, and then Jane who was still a killjoy and didn't like his awesome jokes. After escaping using a plot-hole paradox window, James Incinerated the inn to kill the zombies. James asked Techy if Murray brought the zombies but Techy didn't know. After giving Murray to Ray so he might guess the password, Jane casted a detect magic spell because she was paranoid that they were being watched while James retrieved his arms. The Great Journey...ish thingy... Adventures The detect magic spell created a harmful beam that would have hurt our hero if he wasn't so super special awesome. Jane was then able to detect where the person who was watching them was. James was prepared for awesome beach adventures, but unfortunately, to get there would mean a two day walk. Jane was a killjoy and didn't want to teleport them there so they had to walk to the beach. To lighten the mood James started to sing but Jane didn't appreciate his taste in music. On the way they encountered many interesting sights and talked a fair bit. During the first day James talked to Techy and asked him about the mustache he used and why. After explaining himself, James then explained how he became ambassador to the group by an over-the-top lie awesome flashback scene in which he killed Dairen. It was getting dark so the group set up camp. He then asked everyone else except the killjoy how they became Ambassadors. James then researched the Rhevale races, learned Murray's origin story and taught Murray that Grues don't exist. He then gave Murray back to Ray. After traveling for several hours they found a Mount Shop. James used his totally real ambassadorial authority to haggle with the owner. The Nameless Party commandeered all the mounts, which unfortunately for James, were 3 unicorns. Being a gentle-elf, however, James was incredibly civilized and gave Techy and the 2 females the mounts for they needed them more. James then had an idea to get a side quest to level up more. He immediately regretted it once he talked to the hillbilly. Techy then killed the Hillbilly and during the bloodbath James met Quan, who gave him an escort mission which James accepted. After that James created the awesomest thing ever: Lolrus. James then cast levitate on Lolrus so he could ride it as an awesome mount. Eventually night came and the party had to sleep. James decided to leave on his own to go to the beach. He hoped that the party wouldn't mind bringing Lolrus. James realized that he might be slightly outmatched if he ever was in battle so James got a CondoR for protection. James encountered a cave with a vandalized note. James decided not to go into the cave and instead just took the note which turned out to be a Draconic Gents Poster. Port Adventures Only a few minutes after passing the cave, James spotted Port City. In order to fit in with the pirate theme, James put on an elaborate pirate disguise, complete with a CondoR Parrot substitute. James then entered his horrible doom; a gay bar! a ''sailor'' bar. There he accidentally complimented Neithan, a dark elf. Neithan then tried to convince James to come to another Male Party. When James looked around and finally realized what that place was (a fire safety hazard); he left immediately. While walking away James was confronted by another Nameless Party who wanted Murray. They introduced themselves as Rhode, a level 15 wizard who put way too many points on CHR, Celina , a tracker, and Yander their Cleric. James thought fast and turned Murray invisible and hid him in a haystack. James then led them into The Naked Cucumber where they started a Yackity Sax-style chase montage. After escaping his pursuers James then started to hum some music when suddenly the wall disappeared. Naturally he assumed it was his party coming to rescue him, but it turned out it was just Hunky Vegetables Corp making some renovations to the Naked Cucumber. James then proceeded to vandalize their sign in an un-gentle-elfly manner just when his party finally showed up. Even though James left a very specific note to bring Lolrus to him, they didn't. Naturally James was a little annoyed but put that behind him and suggested that they all just go surfing. Jane disagreed and gave James a horrible disfiguration. She apparently had a reason about Murray being important or something but James didn't really pay attention. When James tried to find Murray he found that Murray had disappeared. After going across the land, searching far and wide James found Murray. James then asked for a Quest Log. Unfortunatly the Quest Log was evil and attacked him. James barely managed to stay alive. The Party then regrouped, completed Quan's Quest and went shopping. James first headed to Rusty's Shop fer Everythinghttp://what-do-you-do.net/2009/10/all-sorts-of-stuff/ . James then bought a Funny Levitating Hat, a Bag with Something in it, and replaced his staff with a new one. James proceeded to make a blood oath to only open the bag if his or his party's life was in danger. James then did some more shenanigans and finished that chapter on all the Races. I'm on a Boat! (Adventures) James decided to go to the Port early, but when he arrived his party had come early to spite him. James then tried to convince Jane to let them have a day off to no avail. When James climbed aboard the ship he instantly became sea-sick and barfed up his breakfast. He then climbed to the crow's nest and met a crow. The Crow and condoR then left James, apparently becoming a couple. James then went down to the hole to try to gain some more EXP. There he encountered gophers . James tried smacking them with his new staff but that didn't work. The Gophers retaliated and started biting James. James (believing in fair retribution) bit a gopher back. Then James noticed a gopher with an axe. The gopher slashed the axe into the boat's wall and this caused the boat to start sinking. James fled the hold soon after making a quick rage comic about the situation and fled to the deck. Again another strike of misfortune hit James and the ship was hit by a storm. James decided then was a good time to open the bag. Unfortunately (again), Rusty's Shop fer Everything sold James incredibly shoddy merchandise. The bag was locked with a chain. Island Hopping Adventures The boat then sank and James had to swim to a nearby Island. There James saw his original Lolrus statue float away in a very sad animation. After taking roll call and only finding Techy, James then proceeded to temporarily go insane, grow a beard, and talk to coconuts. We then discovered that the island was actually civilized and was right beside a city. Then James shaves his majestic beard off which incredibly creeped out the info-booth girl. James asked the info-booth girl for a map and James learned that he was on a new continent and that this was the wrong continent. Jane ran up to them and started nagging them when James retorted Jane already had an excuse. James then went to Smithy's, a locksmith shop, to unlock the bag. James then entered a nearby bar and found Ray singing in there. Rhode confronted James demanding the skull. Rhode then suggested a gentleman's duel, which James accepted. James dueled Rhode to a draw, when both of them ran out of mana. James then let Murray choose who would get possession of him by placing Murray on the floor. Unfortunately Murray rolled into a nearby rat hole. Jane then shrank the party (excluding Krinn who they did not find yet). They then entered the Rat hole. Jane created a magic rope and forced everyone else to pull Murray out. Suddenly Krinn appeared and talked to the party, waking up all the giant enemy rats. Jane decided she could spare some mana and shrunk Murray. As they fled the rat hole the rats chased them. The group regrowified and James squished the rats. James convinced Jane to give him some Mana Potions but Jane was very silly and gave James 3. When they looked outside they realized they had left the bar and were in an Air Travel Tower. James recognized condoR outside who flipped him the bird. The group decided to use air travel to hurry to their destination so they climbed the steps to the roof. When James reached the roof he dueled to the death with condoR. In the end James was victorious as condoR fled from the battle. James then did an awesome victory dance to celebrate his victory. They then payed for the birds and proceeded to fly to TaoKqai. Suddenly rocks started to fly at James so he cast some non mana using spells. The last rock he attempted to catch but it accidentally broke in half because it was incredibly fragile. Inside the rock were explosive gems . James was slightly worried about putting the gems in his inventory so he stored them inside Murray. After reading about Greater Spells the sun rose and the Nameless Party arrived at TaoKqai. TaoKqai Adventures When James first arrived at TaoKqai he first examined one of the nearby spires. As soon as James left the spire rocketed up into the sky. James complained to Jane that he could not be blamed for what happened but Jane did not pay attention. He then asked what Murray was for but Jane said she didn't know and she didn't care. It turned out she flat out lied to James just so he would follow her to their objective. James then sold the explosive gems to a jeweler for 10500 gp. James then funded a manly shopping spree for the guys. After those shenanigans James hired a body guard named Pablo. Pablo almost instantly deserted James so James stopped wasting time and followed the rest of the group to the King's castle. There James fulfilled the prophecy and revealed that Soloh was an enemy. James then received a ship as a reward. The group did a quick recap in which we learned that the group was heading to Lydiam, the continent of the Rhevalehttp://what-do-you-do.net/2009/12/recap/. After some shenanigans James added sea water to his HP potion to make salty HP potion. Tower of Doom Adventures ]We decided to skip the second retelling of Boat Adventures and instead arrive at Lydiam on Isla Della Muertehttp://what-do-you-do.net/2009/12/welcome-to-isla-della-muerte/ (Rough Translation: Death Island). Once everyone got off the boat someone stole the boat away from them. Jane asked an info booth spirit for directions to the nearest inn was which was the Silver Shepard inn. James planned the ultimate prank for Techy when the sun rose. The Nameless Party went to the Tower of Doom and James vandalized the door. Patch opened the door for them and lead the Party to Verzavt. Verzavt then explained his evil plot and asked for Murray. James initially refused but Verzavt sprung a trap on him and took Murray by force. James threw his bag of unknown at Ray's cage to free him but unintentionally knocked him out. James then emptied his inventory of the random stuff by throwing it a their cages, freeing them. They then headed to the Room of Doom. There they found 2 creatures that resembled Patch with a note explaining that one is charmed to only tell the truth while the other is only to tell lies. Techy handled it and they took the right path to the right room. In the next room the group found a Dream Demon. She charmed the entire group except James into falling into an endless sleep. James, being an elf, was immune to sleep and started hallucinating. Even while hallucinating James defeated the Dream Demon by liquifying her. James then leveled up and got the Enchantment spell pack. They entered the third room and met a Metal Riddler. He asked the party to answer his 3 questions but Techy solved that problem. In the last room K'on, Verzavt's right hand eladrin elf, was ready to fight the group. James first casted Confuzzle at him but he used a protective spell to block it. After arguing with Verzavt if they could share Murray, Verzavt unleashed his dragon, knocking the Nameless party out of the tower. James tried to drink the HP potion but condoR stole it from him. After an intimidating fist shaking James looked at the dragon, wet his robes and got mauled (not necessarily in that order). As James was on the ground in pain, he spotted his Bag of Unknown things. When he opened it he found a note saying "Use the Potion, Dumb Elf!" Just as James was about to complain about condoR taking it, condoR, in a moment of pity, gave it back. James drank the HP potion and turned into God-Mode James. James had infinite mana and cast light to create another sun in the world. The potion was starting to wear off so James then kicked the dog like how he would kick Ray. The Tower of doom rocketed off after James kicked the dragon. The ensuing fireball killed the dragon. James was about to brag to Jane but the dragon,with its last breath killed her. James then mourned for Jane. Chapter 2 Deblintures When we next saw James he was meeting Father Brent. Father Brent was a priest and could bring Jane back to life. Unfortunately Jane was an Undead and could not be brought back to life a second time unless her bodily organs were repaired. So Father Brent suggested that the party visit Joshua Shertz. James sent the party to an inn. James put Jane in the girl's room, which Krinn complained about. He then went out to have a night on the town. There he met Peach and another lady. They asked him if he would like to fly in a spaceship to the Milky Way but James politely declined due to his condition. Due to there being 2 suns the second sun rose quickly. James woke everyone up and then made the Port-O-Jane. After walking for an hour, they reached a small settlement called Leipez and (after asking for where a healer was) met Deblin, a half demon necromancer/healer. Deblin was incredibly lazy and didn't want to help. He then asked for 20 million gp to resurrect Jane. Rhode confronted James and James told Rhode that he didn't have Murray anymore. Rhode told James he knew and that he had been following them. Deblin asked Rhode for a recap on what the party had done. After giving a brief recap Deblin shot Rhode with a magic spell and threatened James so he could join the party. Deblin then single-handily defeated Rhode's party. After presenting Deblin to the other party members, James asked Deblin to revive Jane. Deblin however didn't know the spell and suggests that they just go adventuring. When they are about to leave the settlement a group of bandits stopped them. Apparently Deblin owed 20 million gp to them. The group proceeds to fight them off. James first turned the entire team invisible then he drank a mana potion. After examining the insignia on one of the bandit's robes James casted Confuzzle on the leader. The Bandit Leader (under the effects of confuzzle) started slaughtering his own bandits. James proceeded to loot the bodies and got Pierced Garden Guild Robes, a Bandit Blade, some Lockpicking equipment, a Dragon Tooth, a Small Club, an Emerald Necklace and a Pierced Garden Card. James licked the dragon tooth to test for magical properties (sadly, it did not and just tasted horrible). They then left the bandit leader and took a look at the map. To get to Joshua they had to go around the Kill You Mountains and go through the cities, Riverfarm and Orbec. Riverfarm Adventures After a few hours of walking the ground turned to mush as they neared a river. Riverfarm was nearby and there they talked to Fred, who had a banjo, so James Liquified it to protect the party from Ray's Music. After exploring the town James realized everyone was an idiot in there. James immediately wanted to leave but Deblin apparently needed to buy a tool to help revive Jane. James then presented the townsfolk with '''technology! Namely a large lighting rod. James got shocked by a bolt of lightning that meddled his brains and unlocked the spells: Buzz, Electric Barrier, and Paralyze. While they were leaving Riverfarm empty handed they encountered The Kingdom Defenders. The Kingdom Defenders jumped to the conclusion that they were terrorists because Techy was holding Jane, a dead woman, and James was covered in traces of Explosive Gems. Lars then called Ray "King Richard" and started bowing to him. Deblin then used some weak healing magic to remove the lightning effect on his brain. James originally let Ray go with them but Ray wanted to stay with them. Richard believed Ray was brainwashed so he sent Xelionhttp://what-do-you-do.net/2010/02/buzz/, his Warforged Barbarian to subdue the party. After attacking with a lot of magic and it barely leaving a scratch on him, James reasoned that he was wearing special armor. The party was soon captured and tied up by magic chains. While he was captured, James laughed hysterically at Lolrus, before realizing that it was Lolrus. James hurled himself at Lolrus (breaking the magic chains holding him in the process) and then inventoried Lolrus, so to be never separated again. He then rolled a d20 to decide if he would escape the trap but James got trapped anyway. Lars' party then brought the Nameless Party to Orbec. Orbec Adventures At Orbec we met Tanner, a Dark Elf who apparently had a history with Lars' party and they had an agreement to stay out of each other's way. James tried to strike up a conversation with Tanner. He originally asked to be let free but Tanner acted like James was crazy. James, Techy and Deblin were all thrown into a crystal cell together at the town jail. Deblin was poking at the walls, Techy was reading and James was complaining before reading the Rulebook's Index, when suddenly a large explosion was heard. When he looked around he saw Deblin had blown a huge hole in the wall. They escaped from jail and James got Deblin to teleport the lockpicking tools to Krinn before James pocketed some Orbec crystal shards. Techy and James then headed for Jane's body in the Rest Home, while Deblin went to look for something to resurrect Jane. When James and Techy reached the top floor, James snuck into the Girl's Room to get Jane. He then failed his sneak check and alerted Shiela, the elf, scribe. James paralyzed her, and fled to the Elevation Orb where they regrouped with Deblin. Unfortunately the Male Kingdom Defenders were blocking the elevation orb. Deblin then sprouted wings and flew them out of a window. Techy then revealed he had a pure zirconium orb of binding (which Deblin needed) this whole time. The party landed and were about to be chased by some guards, but revealed themselves as Ray and Krinn. Deblin then burninated Jane's body and binded Jane and the Orb. James went into shock but was then calmed down when he learned that Jane was now alive in the orb. Antventures After drawing a face and hair on the orb they then set out for Joshua Shertz. James shook Jane for advice on where to go and Jane answered with YouIdiot. James then asked Deblin if he had any teleportation spells to travel faster. It just so happened Deblin had one that would save a day's worth of travel. In a spectacular Grand Failure the Nameless Party was teleported over a huge hole. James saved the day and liquified everyone so that they would not be killed by the landing. When they landed they were greeted by a tribe of ants. After lying about who he was to the ants, the ant insulted James, and Ray explained that James was no threat. James then demanded to speak to Alpha001. The tribe mainly insulted him until Alpha001 appeared. He surprisingly spoke English. After discussing some subjects of no importance to James, he was asked to do a side quest in exchange for a way to escape the hole. Alpha001 then gave details of a hideous witch that was so hideous that no one could describe how ugly she was. Eventually the ant-people managed to banish her to a cave deep below them. Alpha001 informed them that the witch was regaining strength and needed the party to steal her ruby slippers kill her. James then accidentally dropped Jane down the hole to the cave. James and the rest of the party jumped in after her and they all started sliding. James tried to drink a mana potion on the way down, but the Mana Potion defied physics and accelerated slower than James, causing the potion's contents to be flung into Ray's eyes. They then all landed on James, and they noticed that Jane was having a tea party with Spring. It then dawned on James that this entire side quest was a trap to keep them in a hole forever. After introducing himself to Spring, Jane decided it would be a good time to tell her the brutal truth that she sucked at protecting One. James proceeded to ask who "One" was. Spring showed him a friendship drawing of a skull with one eyehole and told him One was a magical talking skull. After explaining that her sisters were guarding the other skulls James told Spring that they met one of One's brothers, Murray. James then told her that Murray was not guarded by anyone. This made Spring worried so she used magic to teleport to get to One, and then escape the Ant hole. When James witnessed her power he asked her to revive Jane. Spring then said she was forbidden to change the balance of life and death. When asked by Techy who forbid her, she blatantly lied that her totally dead parents who were mortal forbid her. Youidiot Adventures James was about to perform some silly shenanigans when an extremely plot relevant earthquake occurred. The entire group watched in shock and awe as Bandelin rose up from the ground. Spring was suddenly incredibly worried, James asked what was wrong but Spring was becoming hysterical. Then Celina appeared with Rhode and Yendor, and told Spring that "Bandelin was Nova's Ground" or something. She then told Spring to blame James for Bandelin rising to the sky. Celina then turned purple. and into Violet. Violet comforted Spring. With no explanation given to him James pieced together what happened. While he was figuring out what happened, Spring regained rational thinking and made a memorial for Nova. Violet tried to scold James but he already had an excuse. The groups then went their ways and several hours later the Nameless Party reached Youidiot. James first asked Sunflower for Joshua Shertz. Sunflower and everyone else in Youidiot, are... well... idiots (and hippies). The party then separated to fulfill their own agendas. After looking through Youidiot, James found the greatest thing since sliced bread: Penny's Chatbox Colour Shop. James then changed his chatbox colour to an awesome blue. He then had a flashback on how he got the name Woodrock but was interrupted by an extremely loud scream. The scream came Leaflemon, who was stuck in the squiggle monument. The leader, Waterglow, was very tired and couldn't think of a solution. James then liquified the cage to free Leaflemon. The entire population of Youidiot then came and made him a hero. They then rewarded James with their people's traditional cape. James then gave the rest of his party a different colored chatbox. There we meet condoR again and James has a sissy slap fight with him before trapping condoR in the thief guild robes and then reinventorying the robes. The party then leaves for Joshua. Joshua AdvenShertz After walking for a little while the Nameless Party greets the Kingdom Defenders, who are bruised and beaten. Instead of wishing to fight however they only wanted to give Ray some new armor. The Kingdom Defender had learned their lesson, to not mess with the nameless party, but they promised to monitor them to keep Ray safe, because as Lars said, "Even the greatest king can be failed by... incompetent party members." He obviously meant Techy. The groups then separated and shortly arrive at Joshua Shertz's residence. In front of the entrance there was a sign in English which James couldn't read. The party disregards the sign and walks in anyway. After walking for a little while the walls became metallic and the tunnel lead them to a hemisphere-like room, in the middle of which stood a giant metal rod that was emitting lightning magic. James was then greeted by the lightning, a magical representation of Joshua Shertz. Techy requested that they see the physical form but he informed them that Joshua Shertz's physical form perished a while ago. James then told Joshua Shertz why they came here-to resurrect Jane. :Luckily, Joshua told them that he had devised a non-natural way to resurrect Jane. Unfortunately before Joshua could perform the ritual he needed authorization from the afterlife. Heaven doesn't mind unnatural resurrections, Hell, on the other hand needed to be asked permission. So Joshua summoned a doorway to Hell for the party and the group took the stairway to Hell. On the way there Deblin revealed that he had been banned from hell for 30 years prior to the start of this adventure. In the first minute Deblin was handcuffed to the plaguecooler as he had burninated some furniture. James then asked a nearby secretary for his record which he received. James then made some slight alterations to his file, just for the sake of accuracy. James then quickly inspected his surroundings and found an interesting door. James got a foreboding feeling about it and backed away. Sadly Satan was right behind him and mistook James for the female mail courier. Satan then handed the package to James and told him not to open it and to deliver to Ice Castle. James ignored Satan and opened the box to find Two , a 2 eyed skull. The rest of the party had gotten permission to revive Jane so James fled as quickly as possible. On the way up Deblin revealed that he had been banned from Hell (again) for 5 years. As the group are walking up the stairway, Alpha158 from the Humonoid Ant colony appeared and captured all of them. When we next saw James and the party we found them all bound and gagged and (for all except James and Krinn) unconscious in Joshua Shertz's Lab. James attempted to cut the bonds with some Orbec Chrystal Shards but they were not effective against cutting the bonds. However, the crystals hurt the Ant People as they all were extremely weakened. James then cut himself free using the bandit blade. Krinn wanted to be free so James threw it to her. After telling Alpha054 what the skulls do, and letting them go free. Two translated what Alpha 054 said and the Ant people left. James then named Two, Bob. Krinn then freed herself using her teeth to pick up the bandit blade and cut herself free. After freeing everyone and waking them up James then handed Jane to Joshua so he could revive her. Jane is then revived, naked and unconscious. Killjoy Adventures James asked Joshua if he had any "girl clothes" but Joshua asked why he would. Thankfully Krinn bought spare clothes when she was in Youidiot. Jame's turns away while Jane is being dressed and then James and Deblin get the job of carrying her. It was night and everyone except James and Deblin looked tired so the party set up camp. Deblin started burning DEBLIN WAS HERE in the clouds while James read his rulebook's section on familiars . Bob also told James the name of his guardian, Holy . James asked condoR if he wanted to be his familiar and for his efforts James was rewarded with being attacked by his condoR. James then swore vengence and the next time the duo meet. One will not survive. The 2 suns then rised in unison. James tried to wake up Techy but only Deblin was energetic. Jane then woke up with a loud moan. Jane awakened angrily and was a huge killjoy. First James asked for a healing. Jane healed James and continued to do it until it burned. Jane then started waking everyone up as James tried to ask her why she was so moody. Jane was such a huge killjoy that she was passively killing Techy's joy. Deblin was trying to satisfy his thirst for brutality and was trying to torture Bob the entire night. After trying to burn Bob by tying him to a rotisserie (and failing) the party left and went the only direction they haven't gone (or is the Kill You mountains) was North. Fairy Forest Adventures After several hours the party reached a forest filled with Fairies and glowing mushrooms. James first took a bite of a mushroom, before realizing he had just eaten part of a poor Fairy's home. After sheepishly putting the mushroom part back, The Fairy Queen greeted James while Jane facepalmed. James then tried to inventory the Fairy Queen, but alas she was intangible. She noticed fairy blood on his robes which James lied about saying he was a fairy surgeon. James asked her what she wanted and she told him that they had a "Beast Situation" with EXP and item compensation included in the side quest. James didn't immediately accept the side quest,(fearing it would be another trap) until she promises a substantial amount of gold. Right before attacking the "Beast" James stopped to ask for the groups opinions of the side quest and everyone important agreed. James first pushed Ray in front of the Beast and James learned that it was not violent enough to stop eating Fairy Honey and attack Ray. Deblin walked up and revealed that The Beast was his pet and he had been looking for him. James then finds the actual Beast, a huge, furry, multiple eyed monster. James launched his staff into one of the monsters eyes in a valiant attempt but it was super ineffective. Jane then saves James by casting a bubble shield around him while insulting him. James then jumped off Ray's head in order to retrieve his staff from the Beast's Eye. He grabbed his staff but could not pull it out so he did the next best thing: Incinerate. James cast incinerate into the Beast through it's eye. The gases in the Beast's stomach were inflammable and thus this caused the Beast to explode. After checking for loot drops and not finding any, the Nameless Party headed back to the Fairy Queen. On the way there James unlocked the skill Persuasion due to his high Charisma and his high self confidence gained for defeating The Beast. The party got the following rewards: Shoulder Armor for Techy, a Charisma-enhancing Bobble for Jane, a Harp for Ray, Earrings of +3 agility for Krinn, and James... got the gratitude of the Fairies (she didn't pay them the gold she promised though!). James then leveled up before he could destroy the Harp.He put 2 points into Charisma and 1 into Dexterity, while also getting the conjuration spell pack. James then changed his mind and decided not to destroy the harp. James asked Jane where they should go next and she said to go North to find Holy. Lars suddenly appeared and punched James in the face to establish... well nothing but they noticed that James had become much more intelligent after being struck by lightning in Riverfarm and after the adverse effects of being electrocuted had subsided. The Kingdom Defenders Captured the party quickly and Lars went up to Ray and James with a weird crystal. The crystal seemed to transfer the intelligence gained from the lightning into Ray, who remembered his past as king. James started selling Applenade and then checked to see if his shoelace was untied. Ray decided to leave with the Kingdom Defenders and the Nameless party for Bandelin. James wished to go find Holy so he waited for everyone in the party to join him and leave Ray. However most of the Party were wusses and wanted to take the safe plan instead of finding Holy. Only Deblin followed James' suit and together they left the Nameless Party. Furopolis Adventures James and Deblin left the forest quickly. The first thing James did was to search in tall grass for party members, unfortunately he only found Vampire Leeches. James got all of the leeches off him except one as Deblin dragged him to Furo(probably opolis)- the city's name we couldn't see. Deblin for some reason thought that the city was beautiful. James then put the leech on his chin like a goatee and became John the Warlock, the evil brother of James the Elf Mage. Deblin actually fell for the disguise and thought John was a totally different person. James proceeded to be really evil by putting extra sugar in someone's tea cup. While James was being evil, Deblin was killing all the Furries. James then took a moment to remember why he was here, when suddenly he heard a very plot-relevant scream. James stood and waited for the plot to come to him, when he saw something on the ground and bent over to look at it (it was his shoe's metal tip). When James stood back up he found a viking women who was dressed in yellow. James tried to introduce himself to her but she interrupted him mid speech by cutting a lock of his James Woodrock ™ Hair. James tried to get revenge by casting locust swarm but James was too low of a level to do anything besides summon 2 grasshoppers for no mana. James then cast amplify on a grasshopper, depleting most of his mana, but enlarging the grasshopper to Horse size. Bob tried to reason with them but James and Holy (she also had a mount now, Eagle thing) told him to shu t up. Deblin then appeared with his pet and lifted her off her mount. The eagle mount then evaporated into thin air. James proceeded to get revenge by liquifying a lock of her hair. James then returned Bob to her and got Deblin to release her. After Holy apologized for trying to kill him and James and her talking a bit more, James made the Giant Grasshopper his familiar. James asked how he could help Holy and she revealed that Spring and Violet had went to the ice castle to retrieve Murray. Holy left on her flying eagle mount and Deblin and him decide to follow on foot to the ice castle. N*ICE* Cave You Got There (Adventures) After a week of traveling and one montage we found James and Deblin trapped in an ice cave (that is not Ice castle) because a terrible storm has trapped them in. In another strike of bad luck James' grasshopper familiar had frozen solid. James then inventories the frozen grasshopper into his inventory but this unfortunately fills up all inventory space. In order to make some space James combined the False Mustache, Floating Hat, and walrus statue. James also decided to stick the Draconic Gents and the Pierced Garden Card into his Permanent Record from hell. It suddenly takes effect and turns James into James, the Elven Dragonborn Thief turned Mage. After fixing a slight problem with his appearance, James, Deblin and The Beast walk deeper into the cave. As the cave widened it revealed an Ice Dwarf Town. When he entered the hearts of the people in town' couldn't be melted even with his high Charisma, as Helga, a warlock trainer didn't even give him a second look. James then emptied his personal file of the Draconic Gents and Pierce Garden Card. When James turned around he found a pile of ash instead of where the girl used to be. He then saw 2 creepy guys standing behind the pile of ash. They revealed themselves to be the Bandit Leader that you confuzzled in Leipez. The other person was Trudy , a Tiefling that aparently was in a relationship with Deblin, who wanted to kill him for not visiting her in Hell (he was banned for 3 decades remember?) and for eating her brotherhttp://what-do-you-do.net/2010/05/oh-brother/ . The group told them that they both wanted revenge so they were hired by Verzavt to kill them. The Bandit Leader then stabs James in the chest. James started bleeding because of the critical wound so his health kept dropping. James sees his life flash before his eyes as Deblin carries him away and the enemies pursue them. James exited his flashback at the most suspenseful moment because his health is now stable. James then scribbled some more health into his permanent record. James then entered his flashback once more. Before exiting it again to check on what was happening. Deblin was using his pet as a meat shield against Trudy's powerful lightning spells because the Beast didn't even flinch.James lost sight of the Bandit Leader and was scared for his life because the Bandit Leader could be anywhere. After finding a nearby citizen and shaking him James breathed a sigh of relief as he thought the citizen had scared him away. The bandit leader then took off his citizen disguise and then stabbed James in the back, killing him. The Short Adventures in Death of James Woodrock After dieing it seems that Deblin inventoried James. Later Jane (after a convoluted series of events) exited Krinn's inventory and into Deblin's. Krinn followed Jane's trail to find Jame's body with Jane standing nearby. Krinn then dragged Jane and James back to her inventory. The resulting paradox of putting James in Krinn's inventory released them from the inventory. Krinn then put James in a bag and carried him away for the rest of her adventures, before the three of them were separated by being sent into different portals in the end of chapter 2 flash. Chapter 3-Alone The Revival of James Woodrock (and his many Adventures thereafter) 3 weeks later, James the Elf has returned to this plane of existence, confused as ever. He was shown sharply inhaling at the end of Chapter 2 and What Do You Do fans rejoiced in the comments section. After regaining consciousness, James found himself on a table in a laboratory with no gold and IV tubes cactus needles stuck in his hands, which he promptly destroyed. James found his clothes and his inventory on a nearby table and collected them. However, someone had put a huge gash in his cape and robe. James noticed a nearby dark elf scientist, and James assumed he had desecrated his clothes. James then shook and bumped the wooden Dark Elf standee. A Dwarven woman named Penny (no known relation to Penny's Chatbox Colour Shop) walked in and noticed James, up and about. She called him subject eight for some reason. James demanded an explanation for how he was here, and she told him that he was the first elf to be revived without the need of a life crystal. James asked how he got there, and she replied that she bought him from some goblins (which explains who stole his money). After trying to establish that he was not a total loser to Penny by painting a Ugly Walrus Painting and taking it with him. After a little more explanation about what Penny does there (research and develop a cheap revival method, for mostly military purposes) James started to leave the place but Penny told him he couldn't leave, as she needed to observe him. James then gave her the idea of a compromise, why don't they form a party, he would get to leave, and she would get to observe him. Penny then aggreed as James stood by the entrance waiting for her to get her gear. Valeria Adventures The duo took a long 5 hour walk and during that time, James filled the silence by telling her about his many travels and adventures (kinda like on this wiki page!). When they were stopped by a golden gate with a pink mist obscuring their vision further. James quickly incinerated the gate, then liquified it to cool it off, revealing Valeria, the Nymph capital. When James stepped into the city he saw Nymph women everywhere. It just so happened that Nymphs were one of the few things James remembered learning about and he gave a brief history on the city. James then tried to find a trainer. Unfortunately they all turned him down before he could even ask. James thought that it might be because they don't talk to males so he decided to disguise himself using Sex Change. The effect was instantaneous and James became Jamesetta. After asking Penny if her belt made her ears look big and being so impressed that Penny high-fived her face. She then stole an issue of Wing magazine to learn how long she had been dead. After finding an article on Bandelin and learning that it had been almost a week since they heard news from Bandelin and that it was the main source of Nymph's exotic clothing. James then changed her name to Jamesetta in her record, then added 100 charisma to her score to instantly be more beautiful. She was then accepted by the trainers and she became a Wizard. Using her increased charisma and her gender as an advantage, Jamesetta got information that a crazy half-demon was in Magmenia. Magmenia Adventures The duo arrived in Magmenia sometime later, and Jamesseta is being informed that Deblin was here, but was defeated by seventeen priests and then fled, or 'tactically retreated', as Deblin would call it. Jamesetta then used the heat that the city radiates to melt the ice surrounding the Grashopper, your faithful familiar, thus freeing him. James' Sex Change spell wore off, too. While he wasn't paying attention (that is, most of the time), CondoR pushed James in the lava, but James managed to levitate on an floating platform. James and CondoR then proceeded to have an epic battle, which James eventually won by using Air Gust and throwing CondoR into the lava. After briefly transforming into a half-demon, James was then attacked and nearly killed (again) by John the Warlock, but fortunate for James Penny happens to have a cannon, which proves to be quite usefull. He quickly fleds the scene on his familiar, while stealing a book from the unconcious John. Peria Adventures While Penny was sleeping on the back of James' Grasshopper, James read the Rulebook page about Guilds, until he arrived in a canyon. While entering the canyon, James encountered a Golem, a former Player Race. He asked them what they're business was in Peria, and the Grasshopper tried to ditch James (like many others before). Fortunate for James, The golem did not speak Grasshopper and James made up his own translation. After the golem let them through, James tried to claim the city for his own, and accidentally broke the city's only power source. While James tried to hide in the gap he created in the power source, James fell down and ended up in Joshua Schertz room. List of Current Stats, Skills, Perks and Spells Stats *STR : 13 *DEX : 11 *INT : 20 *CHR : 15 Skills *Persuasion Class and Subclass Perks Elf *Insomnia *Check Boost *Magic Protection Wizard *Staff-less Casting *Mana Boost Current Spells Basic *Incinerate *Liquify *Levitate *Invisibility *Light Transformation Spell Pack *Petrify *Vegitate *Sex Change Enchantment Spell Pack *Animate *Amplify *Confuzzle Shock Spell Pack *Buzz *Electric Barrier *Paralyze Conjuration Spell Pack *Conjure Food *Locust Swarm *Doppelgangerize Wizard Subclass Spell pack *Phoenix *Freezolate *Magnetify *Air Gust Category:Characters Category:Main Characters Category:Elves Category:Wizards Category:Mages Category:Spells